My Light and My Salvation

"The Lord is my Light and my Salvation, whom shall I fear?" Psalm 27:1

There are times in our Christian lives when we feel victorious as we charge toward the battles before us…..

There are times when we skip through meadows of flowers and celebrate life and all the blessings that God has bestowed upon us…

There are times that we train our endurance muscles to run at a slow consistent pace like a marathon runner over hills and down long stretches of road...

There are times when we walk and just put one foot in front of the other….

Then there are times when we crawl on our hands and knees……or come to a complete standstill because we sense that we are exhausted, without answers, caught off guard, or without resources and at the end of ourselves… In these times it can seem so dark all around us that we can’t see the road ahead or even our hand in front of our own face. We go to church, we sing the praise songs, we hear the sermons, we read all the Bible verses, we know that our friends are there to come along side us but we don’t even know where to begin to tell them how to help us, even with all this support we still can’t make any sense out of what’s happening and don’t see the end in sight, and just want to stop, turn off the radio and hear silence as we drive to the next thing we have to face or deal with. We desperately want to just feel God close and at the same time yell and scream and ask all our “why” questions but somehow can’t because of our fear or pain or inability to figure out what possible good could come out of times like these.

I have had times like these in my life, and through them all I have held on (sometimes with white knuckles) to the truth that our Almighty, All-Knowing, Everywhere-at-the-same-time God Who loves us and will never forsake us is aware of my situation and has a plan through all of it, but sometimes He calls me to walk in the fire and through the valleys of shadows and dark uncertainty. I have painfully learned that these are the times when I know my God even more intimately, even when He is silent. One of my dear friends shared with me recently during one of those times that when it is darkest in the sky, that is when you can see the stars most clearly, and it’s true! We only need to look UP and see the glimmer and shining of God’s promises in those dark nights of our lives.

If you saw the Chronicles of Narnia, you would remember many scenes when Lucy finds Aslan and just wraps her arms around His neck and buries her face in His mane. When I am at the lowest points in my life, I have also felt Him near me as if He were a great Lion like Aslan walking beside me in the dark, and I can run my hands through His fur, and just bury my face in His mane and weep, and feel the warmth and comfort in those moments with Him as He pauses and holds me close in the warmth of that special intimate place. Jesus Himself went through times like this when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane crying out to His father to remove the cup that He knew was coming in just a few short hours. There was a dark time as He hung on the cross when He sensed His Father turning away from the sin that hung on the cross with Him and He felt forsaken and utterly abandoned for an eternal moment in human time. God was there, and even though it was a hard thing to do, Jesus remained in that place to pay the full price for our sins so we could spend eternity in His Arms.

As many of you may know, our family has recently gone through some dark times involving the health of my husband Rick, who has been hospitalized for almost two months now battling a series of ongoing and new medical issues. Thank you for all your prayers and support during these past months, I know that is why Rick is still with us, because prayer warriors all around the world are fighting on their knees for him, and for us to hold on and trust God to be God in every circumstance. We have been uncertain as to what this new upcoming season will look like for our family and especially for Rick- but we know WHO goes before us, and we know WHO stands behind… the God of Angel Armies is always by our side. In recent weeks, I have come to love the new Chris Tomlin song, Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies), and I want to share it with you so you can rejoice in all the promises that we can claim in those dark times when we need Him more than ever. May the peace that passes our understanding be with all of you who may be walking through hard times at this moment. God is still near, even when He is silent, so listen for Him and trust Him to be at work even when it’s so dark you can only see the stars!

Sister, Lahoma

Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies), You hear me when I call, You are my morning song Though darkness fills the night, It cannot hide the light Whom shall I fear? You crush the enemy underneath my feet You are my sword and shield, though trouble linger still, Whom shall I fear? I know who goes before me I know who stands behind The God of angel armies is always by my side The One who reigns forever He is a friend of mine The God of angel armies is always by my side My strength is in Your name for You alone can save You will deliver me, Yours is the victory Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear? And nothing formed against me shall stand You hold the whole world in Your hands I'm holding on to Your promises You are faithful, You are faithful

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