Fatherly Dealing

"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory." 1Thessalonians 2:11-12

For whatever reason, this particular pair of verses has never impacted me as much as they did in my most recent reading of them. Over the last few years a number of things has happened in my life and around my life that has put me in the position of being referred to by a new nickname...."Pastor Papa". As a grandfather I am called "Papa" by my grandchildren. But the name Pastor Papa came to me from college aged students that we have sponsored in their quest to get work permits in order to become financially independent while they study in the U.S. This opportunity has been a huge blessing to us.

Dawn and I over the years have had very close relationships with many young adults and would like to think that we have a particularly special closeness with them. This began in youth ministry days and has continued. We have gotten older, but our connection with college aged young people has always been there. It is kinda shocking to me to realize that the young people in my first youth group now have grandchildren. So fatherly advice has long been part of my resume. I tend to adopt young people and try to guide them forward toward their goals.

There are three words that jump out of the verses here that so resonate with how being a father or "Papa" actually happens. The first is the word 'encouraging'. It is too easy to give young adults a hard time, when what they really need is some honest encouraging. Not just complimenting or caring, but, in words, saying what is really needed to be heard. Words that give them courage and help them not to be discouraged.

The second word is 'comforting'. Even though the troubles of young adults can be self-inflicted, they need sincere comforting. Life hurts when you are banging your head against trying to be personally responsible and discovering who you are at the same time. Young adults have a keen understanding of many things that they are not affirmed for and when they get disappointed or rejected or put down, they need comforting. Someone to just be there, hear them out and care about what they say and how they feel. Regardless of how that may come out.

The third word is 'urging' which is different than nagging. By the way, incessant reminding is nagging, in case you haven't thought about how it sounds to the hearer. Young adults are open to being held accountable to God, on His terms. I think if the encouraging and comforting is in place that the urging will be more willingly received. Obviously this passage is not only for young adults. We all need 'fatherly' advise. We all need our Heavenly Father to deal with us. But, just as He deals with us with encouragement, comfort and urging, we should also deal with each other with the same tenderness, grace and forthrightness. As we all grow up in the Lord, let us differentiate between being parental and fatherly, or motherly. Father God sets the example and Paul and the early church leaders were trying to follow that lead and so should we.

With His encouragement, comfort, urging and love,
Pastor Fred (Papa)

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