"Search me, O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24
In part, I think David is a man after God's own heart because he so humbly asks God to search his heart. What a risky request. I know we know that God sees through us, one of the obvious byproducts of omniscience. But, like David, would we also implore God to test our anxious thoughts? We should as the Bible encourages us, "be anxious for nothing". David is so real and honest, and we should emulate His transparency.
My anxiety is directly related to my lack of trust, which can be traced back to a lack of faith. We should “trust in the Lord, with all our hearts” as David's son Solomon wrote in Proverbs 3:5. I am always impressed when children learn, even if it takes a while. Solomon was wise, don't ya think? David knows much of what we deal with is actually matters of the heart, not the blood pump, but the core of who we are. Notice in his request to be searched that David doesn't just open himself up to the assessment of His actions; he asks about his own motives (offensive ways) too. His final request at the close of this magnificent Psalm is to be led in the way everlasting. That is to say.... 'the important stuff'. Those are the eternal, everlasting ways that God reveals by His Spirit.
I have said about God a number of times, what I was taught and shown early on, 'He sees me through and through and loves me still and all'. I am so grateful for salvation and grace, for mercy and love from My Father in Heaven. I still ask to be searched and known, just so I keep it real, honest and clear that He already knows. I can still be offensive (I have my ways, just like everybody). If I am going to be led by Him, I must acknowledge where I have been, and where I am now, before we can move forward or go much further.
I really do trust Him, even if He does see through me and still loves me.
In Him,
Pastor Fred
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It's interesting to me that when we're behaving offensively, we often try to pretend as though God doesn't see. Not too long ago, my very thought processes were rotten to the core, but in my shame I purposely walked away from God so that He "wouldn't see." How silly we are, and what a relief that He saw then, sees now, and loves me regardless. I'm coming more into the love of God today than I've ever been in yesterdays passed, and I guess it should come as no surprise that it's happening after He has seen me at moments that, for me, have been some of my worst.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminder to always ask Him to search and test my heart. I think I'll do it now.